Coming home.

I've been too devoid of energy to post at all. It took me a week to attend a funeral which was four hours' drive away. I broke the journey at my daughter's and she accompanied me on the day. There were people there I hadn't seen in years and who didn't know about my illness. It was hard to stand and chat. I could feel my energy clock running down and still a drive back in traffic ahead of us. I was well out of my window of tolerance and it was three days resting at my daughter's before I could make the two hour drive back to my home.

I feel angry about it, angry with the illness for stealing my ability to participate fully. I was glad for what I could do with the support of family - it was important for me to be there. In terms of energy cost though it was like a trip abroad with jet lag. I felt the same as when I'd come back from Malaysia once on an alcohol fuelled twelve hour flight. 

The brown envelope of doom was waiting for me when I finally got back. I have been turned down for PIP on reconsideration. Zero points. I will have to appeal. What some members of this government are doing to sick and disabled people is just wrong. I say some members advisedly. It is not all of them, just the elite Eton Boys. They are tearing through our society like some sort of unstoppable juggernaut. I will do my bit, I will appeal this PIP decision.

I have picked up a virus whilst mixing with The Normals as I call them. It almost feels good to have something everyone else gets. My colds are not particularly any worse because of my CFS/ME. I often think it is a good sign, I have enough energy to produce an old-fashioned immune reaction.

Back soon.